A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:
 
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.  (On an airplane!)       
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown.  While I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ."
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa .''
Her response - click.
 
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did.  I asked what was wrong with the vacation inOrlando .
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. 
He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
 
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?'' 
I said, ''No.'' 
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
 
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.  When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas .  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)  
 
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week.  She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.  I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.  Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
 
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' 
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight.  I think that's very rude!''
After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it.  (I was dying laughing.)  I came back and explained the city code forFresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
 
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.   After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
 
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
 
10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida.  Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. 
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
 
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.  After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't.  I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' 
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
 
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.'' 
I was at a loss for words.  Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
''Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady. 
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'' 
The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.  Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?'' 
The reply?  "Whatever!  I knew it was a big animal.''

With thanks to Louise.

A gang have been branded Britain's worst burglars after drilling their way into an empty office next door to a bank.

The thieves had hoped to break into the Royal Bank of Scotland branch in Poynton, near Macclesfield, Cheshire, reports the Daily Telegraph. More>>

These were sent to me the other day

How concerning is this?





She, surprisingly left the chair moments later.

Addendum: I looked at this the other day and noticed these had been photoshopped. Pah. Trust me to think someone that stupid. Consider me duped.

1) Paris Hilton talking to press about the US chain store: "Wal-Mart... do they like make walls there?"

2) Jessica Simpson on NewleyWeds: "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.' " 

3) Alicia Silverstone on her role in Clueless: "I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

4) Chantelle Houghton when Big Brother said she had changed since becoming a celebrity: "I've changed? What do you mean... I've changed my clothes?" 

5) Jodie Marsh in a recent interview: "Eskimos are uncivilised because they don't have any shops."

6) Paris Hilton on her technique on the red carpet: "I don't really think, I just walk." 

7) Jessica Simpson on her first day at high school: "A teacher asked us if anybody knew the names of the continents. I was sooo excited. I was like, Damn it! It's my first day of 7th grade, I'm in junior high and I know this answer. So I raised my hand, I was the first one, and I said A-E-I-O-U!"

8) Goldie Hawn on her favourite types of films: "Comedy is funny". 

9) Sam Fox on fitness clothes: "I’ve got 10 pairs of training shoes - one for every day of the week."

10) Britney Spears on her taste in clothes: "So many people have asked me how I could possibly be a role model and dress like a tramp and get implants... all I have to say is that self-esteem is how you look at yourself and I feel good enough about myself so wear that kind of clothing... the breast implant issue has nothing to do with that..."

'Where the hell is Australia?' ... Britney Spears

11) BB's Helen Adam’s on education: "The worst thing is when the press call me a dizzy blonde - I got a B in Drama, a D in English, I did a hairdressing course and a beauty certificate."

12) Lady Victoria Hervey on the homeless: "It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day." 

13) Britney Spears on Japan: "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

14) Jessica Simpson when offered buffalo wings: "Sorry I don't eat buffalo." 

15) Paris Hilton on her fame: "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon."

16) Chantelle Houghton on George Galloway: "He looks at us like we're stupid, scatty, uneducated girls. He's a right chauvinistic pig, whatever that means!" 

17) Cameron Diaz on science: "I've been noticing gravity since I was very young." 

18) Britney Spears on where she might start her theatre career: "I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.” 

19) BB's Helen Adams on magic man Paul Daniels: "Yeah, you know Jack Daniels... he does all the magic stuff!"

20) Christina Alguilera on film festivals: "So where’s the Cannes film festival being held this year?" 

21) Paris Hilton on her career choices: "First wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realised you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead."

22) Alicia Douvall on motherhood: "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career."

'I don't eat buffalo' .... Jessica Simpson

23) Chantelle Houghton on hearing George Galloway was an MP: "Does that mean you work in that big room with the green seats?"

24) Britney on capital punishment: "I am for the death penalty. Who commits terrible acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he learns the lesson for the next time." 

25) BB2's Helen Adams on pulses: "How much chicken is there in chick peas?"

26) Chanelle Hayes on her Posh spice obsession: "I like what she (Victoria Beckham) wears. That's what magazines are all about - there's always a picture of a celebrity and where to buy a replica of what they're wearing. It's not as if I'm doing anything weird." 

27) Paris Hilton on her title: "I don't want to be known as the Hilton heiress, because I didn't do anything for that."

28) Tara Reid on her fellow blonde celeb: "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist." 

29) Ivana Trump on literature: "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."

30) Christina Aguilera on herself: "I'm an ocean, because I'm really deep. If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures." 

31) Britney Spears on her first tour: "Where the hell is Australia anyway?"

32) Alicia Douvall on surgery: "I know it (plastic surgeries) will kill me. But I'd rather die trying to sort things out." 

33) Jodie Marsh on cooking: "Is an egg a vegetable?"

34) Kimberly Stewart on Jennifer Aniston: "I like her cos she's like, homely. She must have something else going on cos it's not like she's gorgeous or anything." 

35) Jessica Simpson on her mood at the VH1 '05 video awards: "Isn’t it weird I’m getting all emotionable."

36) Helen Adams on BB2 : "I probably sound Welsh on the telly." 

37) Mariah Carey on the death of the King of Jordan: "I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."

38) Chantelle Houghton on different types of doctors: "What’s a gynaecologist?" 

39) Pamela Anderson on her secret to success: "I don't think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!"

40) Ivana Trump on getting one over on her ex's new girlfriend: “Gorgeous hair is the best revenge.” 

41) Brooke Shields on her campaign against smoking: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

42) Heather Locklear on being proud of her heritage: "From an early age I was aware of what America meant, and how the Marines at Camp Pendleton were ready to defend us at a moment's notice. I also remember what fabulous bodies those troops had." 

43) Jessica Simpson on her scantily clad videos: "I'm definitely shy, so it was definitely acting for me to drop a trench coat and be in a bikini and try to get my cousins out of trouble by using my body. That was definitely acting!"

44) Chantelle Houghton working out the shopping budget: "Eleventy-twelve pence? I don't get it. How much is that then?" 

45) Britney on why she did a cover of I Love Rock and Roll: "I always loved Pat Benatar."

46) Emma Bunton on moobs: "I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing." 

47) Cyndi Crawford on modelling: "In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it's not like a blank stare."

48) The late Anna Nicole Smith on suicide bombers: "Doesn't that hurt?" 

49) Jessica Simpson to the President when visiting the White House: "I love what you’ve done with the place!"

50) Mischa Barton on being blessed with looks: "Pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas."

This years bumper crop of stupid is out; for those who don't know, The Darwin Awards are awarded to those who have killed themselves, without procreating, in stupid and often rather too amusing ways

There is a superb site called Cake Awareness or something. Anyway, the logo is that they deal with cake after ...   more »

NEW YORK - Idaho  resident Kathy Evans  brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a  new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular   TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

It seems that  Evans, a  32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the  first question, and  proceeded to make what fans of the show  are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of  lifelines  ever.'
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira,   Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she  was posed with an  extremely easy $100 question. The question  was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A  Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who  you  calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all  consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which  she did not  readily know the answer.
'Hmm, oh boy, that's a  toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her  disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure  I've heard of some of  these things before, but I have no idea how large they would  be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three  lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to  decide which was  bigger, an elephant or the moon. However,  faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained  unsure.
'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed  Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Using the second  of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs.  Evans asked  to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office   assistant.
'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on  TV!' said Evans,  wasting the first seven seconds of her call.  'Ok, I got an important question.  Which of the following is  the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15  seconds  hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.  Evans  proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten  seconds.
'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are  you? Duh, that can't be  it.'
To everyone's astonishment,  the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The  Moon.'
'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all  that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,'  said  Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned  98%  in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her  lifelines, Evans then  made the dumbest choice of her  life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,'  said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just  got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an  elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant.   Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience,  the only one  waiting with bated breath, and was told that she  was wrong, and that the  answer was in fact, C, 'The  Moon.'
Caution...they walk  among us!